The working experiences of women

What difference does gender make at work? Are women hindering themselves, or is it just how we perceive the behaviour of women? 

Behaviours that have been identified as hindering women’s progression are all based upon the ways in which we currently view leadership – which is typically masculine. Women, however are statistically progressing less and paid less. Is there something that women should be doing differently, or does our view of what leadership is need to change?

In January 2018, The Space Between conducted a survey of over 220 women about their working experiences. These were from a wide range of roles, industries, nationalities and sectors. They were from women from across the UK, Europe, the US, Canada, South America, Australia, and the Middle East. Participants were from a wide range of levels of experience, and roles, with areas such as finance, HR, recruitment, digital, law, charity, education, medicine, hospitality, pharma, and the self employed. The survey sought to find out how the experiences of women compared with the ideas about how women are ‘supposed’ to behave in the workplace.

So I find the time to speak in meetings is lost by the time I have a response/comment and I don't often want to be forceful in sharing my view once I have it e.g. interrupt, unless I think it's really important or if I'm in a group with people I feel very comfortable with.

So, what did we find?

• On the whole, the results do not show that women are ‘playing it safe’ or lacking ambition. Only 18% of women felt they were not good enough for more senior roles, and only 10% would ‘play it safe’ and fail to put themselves forward
• However, 66% of women have chosen not to ask for a pay rise, and 72% of women have chosen not to negotiate over pay and bonus deals. With women globally paid less than men for comparable roles, developing skills in this area seems to be important. The women surveyed however, are much more likely to ask for development opportunities, feedback and to apply for promotions than to negotiate for pay.
• 43% of women said that they found it hard to say no, with 38% saying this was sometimes true. Only 27% of men said this was true for them. Only 22% of men worried that in speaking up, or saying no that this would affect their ‘like-ability’. For women, this was 43%, suggesting that women spend more time modifying their behaviour based upon anticipated reactions to it. 
• Only 12% of women said that they never found it hard to take credit for their contributions, or to accept compliments. Building belief based on successes and being recognised for them is important. 73% of women said that they felt the need to be more confident and a staggering 79% of women said that they had considered themselves to be ‘not good enough’. Learning how to accept credit may be a key skill to develop.

I’ve had to push myself very hard to overcome my natural tendency to “make myself small” as my role requires me to be an advocate for others.

What else matters?

Many of the comments referred to either a helpful, or unhelpful working environment. Culture and the behaviour of others in the workplace is clearly a large factor influencing women’s behaviour. Perception of women, rather than their permission to behave in certain ways may therefore be the bigger challenge. For example, being perceived as ‘bossy’, ‘aggressive’ or ‘emotional’ by others means women are choosing not to challenge or say less. There are, however, some areas that stand out with a high volume of participants saying ‘yes’. These include areas about self-belief and acknowledging achievements.

“Although I can modify my behaviour, it is harder to influence others and there is still the persistent stereotype that assertive women are ‘bossy’ and that this is negative.

So, is it them, or us?

As with anything, its neither. How we are, and how we are seen is complex and not so simple as being different, or seen differently. The research identifying what is needed to ‘get ahead’ is limited to a narrower definition of what we judge to be effective leadership behaviours. If we only ever judge women on how well they can be male leaders, we will never make progress. If we only ever penalise women for being masculine in their leadership style, we will never make progress.

For me personally, I have always been given feedback that I am fairly ‘masculine’ in my approach, although identify as female. This dissonant feedback has always grated with me, as I don’t see that having a forceful opinion makes me any less female.

There are, however, areas where women can develop their skills, and overcome the expectations of them in order to be best placed for opportunity. Finding ways to progress that allow everyone to be authentic and expand the existing (limiting) ideals of leadership will enable this ambition to be realised.

So what?

There is always choice about how you behave, and how you want to define what is authentic leadership for you. Taking on board some of the areas, where gender does appear to make a difference - what are some of the things that you can do?

1. Acknowledge your successes. What would it be like if you able to ‘take more credit’ for yourself? What stops you from doing this? What would it be like if you could accept it, and still be you?
2. Receive positive feedback well. What positive feedback have you received recently? How often do you ask for feedback on your strengths? Where could you be more balanced in reviewing the feedback you receive?
3. Speaking up. How can you express yourself, and still be you? Who are your allies? What would it mean if you did? If speaking up is not about arguing across a meeting room table, what is it to you?
4. Practice forgiveness. Guilt, worry and an inner critic can consume tremendous energy. What would it be like to be more mindfully present? How would you speak to yourself if you were your own best friend?
5. Know your worth. And learn to ask for it. Being clear about your value to an organisation, expecting to be given it, and asking for remuneration are all skills to be learned. How well do you do this?

The Space Between provides workshops and coaching for personal and professional change. Linda Marshall also regularly speaks at conferences and events on change and development. For more information on this, or further details about the survey, find us on Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn. E: linda@spaceconnects.co.uk T: +44(0)7905121239